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"Calamity Jane" Kelly (played by Mary Woronov, the evil principal from Rock 'n Roll High School) wearing full cowgirl regalia and driving a car painted like a bull with horns welded on it.

This year marks the 20th Annual Transcontinental Road Race, and here are your contestants: Women score 10 points more than men in any age bracket, with teenagers, children and the elderly scoring as high as 100 points a kill.Īpparently, this deacon was reading a version of the Bible where "love thy neighbor" was translated into "run thy neighbor down like a deer in thine headlights." The object is not just to finish first, but also to score the most points by running down as many pedestrians on the streets as possible. To keep the working classes from toppling the ruling bourgeoisie, and as a symbol of American values and "no-holds-barred" way of life, a Transcontinental Road Race has been established, in which racers compete in a three-day rally stage from New York City to Los Angeles, with overnight pit stops in St. President" and domestically by a "Bipartisan Party", which also suggests a new union of church and state in that it is led by a deacon.

In the year 2000, following a major global economic crisis, the United States-excuse me, United Provinces of America has become a fascist, über-patriotic police state ruled from abroad by a figurehead "Mr.

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But when it saw a story in Time magazine in 1975, the race was already cemented in the national consciousness, and also went on to inspire a number of cross-country "carsploitation" movies during the 70s and 80s- Cannonball!, The Gumball Rally, Cannonball Run, Cannonball Run II, Speed Zone!, and the Smokey and the Bandit trilogy among others-a couple of which were screenwritten by Yates himself.Įven low-budget movie mogul Roger Corman caught the bug at one point. It was fast-paced, highly dangerous and also against the law.

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This race, named for record-setting driver Erwin George "Cannonball" Baker who once drove from New York City to Los Angeles in a mere 53-1/2 hours, was intended to celebrate America's Interstate highway system as well as protest recently instated traffic laws, including the new 55 mph speed limit. In 1971, Brock Yates, editor of Car and Driver magazine, established the first coast-to-coast drag race: the Cannonball Baker Sea-To-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash, also known as the Cannonball Run. With all due respect to Shaft, Jack Carter is the man who would risk his life for his (dead) brother-man.In the year 2000, hit-and-run driving is no longer a crime.

Equipped with finely groomed facial hair and a complete lack of common sense, Carter hits the mean streets of Seattle. Most normal people aren't portrayed by Sylvester Stallone. Most normal people would take some time to mourn and allow law enforcement to track down the responsible parties. And if there is one thing that Get Carter can teach us, it's that you just don't fuck with Jack Carter. Like this, but with the Space Needle and flannel shirts.īut while this may sound far-fetched, it happened big time to Jack Carter (Stallone). Imagine, if you will, flying to Seattle for your brother's funeral and upon attending the funeral, you discover that your brother's death was no accident, but he was targeted and murdered by a Seattle-based mob. "I'm not totally sure why I have a boner right now." Related: 5 Famous People Whose Corpses Got Desecrated In Crazy Ways 6 Jack Carter Daydreams, Then Casually Murders Dr.